Yesterday we took our two cats Lou and Andy (both imported from America when we came to Turkey two and a half years ago) to the vet to get their nails clipped before leaving for the US on Tuesday. (Clipping their nails before we leave on a trip ensures minimal damage to my belongings. So does rolling up the carpets and putting them away.)
Lou and Andy
Both cats have gingivitis, something our vet Can was seeing for the first time yesterday. They've had bad teeth and gums since they were kittens, and a vet in Philadelphia told us three years ago that gum disease would continue to be a problem as Lou and Andy got older.
But Can's mind went to more sinister territory. As he showed me in his Turkish vet medical book, 25-30% of cats with feline immunodeficiency virus -- essentially, cat AIDS -- present with gingivitis symptoms. That's nice, I said, but they've already been vaccinated against AIDS, PLUS they've both have gingivitis since they were 3 months old.
Can wasn't having it. We went around and around, him telling us that gum disease is a clear sign of cat AIDS, me telling him that a) they've been vaccinated; b) they've had gingivitis since they were babies; and c) they exhibit no other symptoms of AIDS.
Assuming that I must have misunderstood him and did not grasp the magnitude of the situation, Can called his English-speaking friend Gul over to translate. She proceeded to tell me everything Can was telling me. Just in English.
"I understand everything you're saying," I told Can. "But it is impossible that they have cat AIDS. What you're saying doesn't make any sense."
"I am 99% sure they have AIDS," he told his assistant. In front of me. Striking fear into my heart.
Now, as anyone with a pet can attest, this is classic vet behavior. My cats are perfectly healthy, minus a bit of gum disease, but what vet is going to accept that? What vet can resist proclaiming that your cat needs a $240 test for this, or a $150 blood sample for that?
And to be honest, Can and I have been at loggerheads before. A few days ago, in fact, I took Phoenix and Frankie in to have their nails clipped and was berated for not bringing my cats in every three months for anti-parasite medicine.
But I feel that this issue is much larger than vet-takes-advantage-of-cat-loving-foreigners-willing-to-do-anything-to-ensure-said-cats'-health.
I think there are other issues at play here regarding different cultural assumptions, my lack of trust in Turkish veterinary science, and also, my weakness in standing up for myself and my beliefs in the face of what I consider questionable customs.
There are some cultural differences that are completely innocuous and whether or not you subscribe to them is generally unimportant to how you live your expat life here in Turkey. Wearing slippers in the house, for example. Afternoon tea. Putting on an undershirt in the winter.
But expats also must deal with much larger cultural differences sometimes and most of my experience with these has been at the vet's office. I am, in general, skeptical of most vets in Turkey, and doctors, for that matter. I do not trust doctors to always know what is best for me (or my cats), the way that 73% of Americans do. And I do not have a lot of faith in Turkish vets (see here).
Despite this, when faced with the threat -- and I do not use this term lightly -- that my cats might have AIDS, well, Jeff and I did the only thing responsible pet owners would do: we authorized the test. That is, when confronted with the idea that my precious little babies might have a life-altering disease for which there is no cure, I went with the one thing that would ease my mind: a 240 TL blood test to tell me what I really already knew: Lou and Andy don't have cat AIDS.
Which, I should point out, was always obvious to me. But that makes me the dumb one in this situation, doesn't it?, since I essentially gave in to the vet's scaremongering tactics. I failed to stand up for myself, and indeed my cats, who were subjected to a quite unnecessary and stressful blood draw.
So the question I want to throw out there today is: How do you stand up for yourself in the face of differences -- whether cultural or not -- when you believe firmly that you are in the right?
Whether at the vet's office or the doctor's office, whether on behalf of your cat, your child or yourself, how do you say to a Turk, "No, I don't believe/trust/follow you"? How do you stand up for yourself when you are entrenched in an established community with certain beliefs and protocols that you simply don't subscribe to?
