2010 dawned all new and bright and shiny a few weeks ago, and I am the first to admit that I'm getting a late start in getting my resolution off the ground. I mean, isn't this about when people give up their resolutions, not start them?
Oh well. It's not like I haven't been doing other things. Oh right. TV doesn't count.
My relationship with Turkey has started to get a bit more evolved, a bit more complicated, shall we say.
I've been here two and a half years and if I've only learned one thing is that an expat's response to life in a foreign country is completely fluid. One day you're thrilled about it, the next day you're ready to pack your bags and go anywhere else.
Expat life starts out well enough with the honeymoon stage and all that and then things start to get a bit murkier. All those differences you found so enchanting and even quaint in the beginning quickly become thorns in your side, the kind that make you throw your hands in the air and wonder why you came here in the first place.
From there, it's a slippery slope downhill to where you start fantasizing about life somewhere else, maybe even back in your home country, where of course life is simpler, easier, paperwork and bureaucracy a pure pleasure to deal with.
Don't kid yourself. It's the same everywhere, whether that's the UK, France, Hong Kong or Timbuktu. And yes, that includes Turkey.
But there are ways you can cope with it all, things that make it easier to deal with the daily struggles and everyday strife of being a foreigner in a strange land. And I'm not talking about big, life-altering changes, but little things that you can right now, today, to make your expat life just a little easier, things that I'm going to try to do more of when a bad day hits me.
Get on a bus and go. Remember what it's like to be a tourist in Turkey. Even if you're not so lucky as to live in Istanbul, there's bound to be stuff you haven't seen in your own city. Whip out your Lonely Planet and find a museum you haven't been to yet. Or, if you're more adventurous, head over to the bus terminal and get on a bus. Any bus. Just pick one going to a neighborhood you've never heard of before and explore. At the very least, you'll find a lovely cafe to have tea and sweets.
As my grandma would say, get outta town. No, really. Turkey is your oyster and with airfare so CHEAP in this country, there is no excuse not to get out. Why not Diyarbakir for a long weekend, or Antalya for some sea and sun? I'll never understand expats who spend all their time in Istanbul and never get out of the city. You may not stay in Turkey forever, so while you're here make sure to see it!
Go to a bakery and get one of everything. Where else can you eat chocolate pudding, eclairs, tiramisu, baklava and pistachio ice cream but in Turkey? (Okay, maybe lots of places, but we're looking on the bright side here!) Can't identify a particular item? Doesn't matter; just order it! Get a cup of tea and revel in the culinary delights that this country has to offer. Believe me, they're good.
Share your experiences. Start a blog, keep a diary, begin a scrapbook, take pictures. Sometimes the only way to put your life in perspective is to put it down on paper (or screen) and look at it. And I'm sure your friends and family back home would love to hear about your exciting life overseas!
Cook up some comfort food. Take a trip to your local pazar -- don't have one? the Carrefour will do -- and stock up on fresh produce and meats and cheese. Then go home and make something comforting like macaroni and cheese or ezogelin corbasi (which is, thank goodness, no longer the only thing I can cook) or chocolate chip cookies. Or try a twist on an old favorite by making Izmir kofte. Ask your mom for her enchilada recipe you love so much and get cracking!
Go out for a Western meal. I have such a hard time finding good food in restaurants here in Izmir. I could eat the most marvelous kofte until the cows come home, but do I want to? Hells no. Sometimes I want a slice of cheesecake or roasted turkey and for that, I turn to the city's five-star hotels like the Swiss Grand Efes Otel and the Crowne Plaza. It's okay to splurge once in a while.
Adjust your expectations. Not everything is going to work out the way you think it will or should. Filing paperwork at the emniyet will take longer than you expect, women WILL ram their carts into your ankles at the pazar and your internet connection will come and go as it pleases. But if you know that these things are a given, then why stress over them? It's not like you can do anything about it anyway.
Connect with fellow expats. Invite a few fellow expatriates over for the comfort food you're making, or go out to a meyhane and let loose. Sometimes it helps to commiserate with other people -- and in your own language -- and to know that you are not alone with whatever problem you're having in Turkey. Chances are, someone else has been through it all before and may even have some advice for you.
Adopt a pet. Come on, you didn't think I'd let this suggestion not make the list, did you? It's a proven fact that cats and dogs reduce stress levels and generally make people happier. I mean, how can coming home to a purring kitty NOT put a smile on your face? That said, if you're not planning on staying a while and wouldn't be willing to take an animal with you when you leave Turkey, you can always spend some time loving up the street kitties near your house, feeding them and taking care of them.
If all else fails, opt out for a long weekend. Who says you have to be fully engaged in Turkish life 24/7 anyway? There are times when you just need Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant, and maybe a big pile of chocolate chip cookies, to set you straight again. Or maybe your weakness is opera music while making tomato sauce. It doesn't matter: stock up on groceries, lock the door, turn up the music and escape.
I think the main thing when you need a pick-me-up if to remind yourself of why you came to Turkey in the first place. What helps me do that are the things above -- good friends, baked goods, marketing at the pazar (a real delight for me) -- and, yes, sometimes locking the door and eating a pan of mac and cheese.
Sometimes it's the only thing to do.
